


Bobby B - Savior of the Universe

by Machiavelli (orphan_account)



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 08:45:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12744945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Machiavelli
Summary: A DOTHRAKHI HORDE, NED........................................................................... ON AN OPEN FIELD!





	Bobby B - Savior of the Universe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Daemon_Belaerys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daemon_Belaerys/gifts), [DolorousEdditor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DolorousEdditor/gifts), [Winterfelland](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winterfelland/gifts), [jeeno2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeeno2/gifts), [CadenceIX](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CadenceIX/gifts), [serpentguy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/serpentguy/gifts).



> For Jonsa

The One True King sat the Iron Throne. His bitch of a wife sat by his side while his little shit of a son whined to her.

"Mother, the girl's beast attacked me," Joff cried like the little bitch he is. 

"YOU LET A LITTLE GIRL DISARM YOU!" Bobby B yelled.

Immediately Joffrey cried purple tears and ran away from his cunt mother. Arya Stark chuckled.

"Kill her!" the bitch-queen yelled.

"I didn't do shit!" Arya replied.

"QUIET WOMAN," said the King. 

"That man was your son!" Cersei whined.

"BACK IN OUR DAY YOU WEREN'T A REAL MAN TILL YOU FUCKED MAIDS FROM EACH OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS AND THE RIVERLANDS!" the One True King cried. "WE CALLED IT MAKING THE EIGHT."

"You're not a man," the bitch queen whined.

Immediately the King came off his throne and clocked Cersei right in the face.

"AND DON'T MAKE ME HONOR YOU AGAIN!" BOBBY B yelled.

Cersei fell down and left the room.

Bobby climbed the IRON THRONE yet again and this time Ned Stark came forward.

"My King, I must inform you about the Targaryen girl," Ned said.

As Ned approached the throne he knocked over a vase and he tried to keep it from falling.

"CAREFUL, NED, CAREFUL NOW," Bobby B called out.

"My King, there's a million Dothrakhi with her across the Sea, they are preparing to cross with stolen ships," Ned said.

"THERE'S A WAR COMING, NED, I DON'T KNOW HOW AND I DON'T KNOW WHEN, BUT IT'S COMING," Bobby said.

"My King, the war is coming now," Ned explained.

"THERE'S A WAR COMING, NED, I DON'T KNOW HOW AND I DON'T KNOW WHEN, BUT IT'S COMING," Bobby said.

Ned cried a single tear.

"I'LL DEAL WITH IT MESELF!" The KING yelled. "LANCEL LANNISTER, BRING ME MY ARMOUR!"

The little shit Lannister brought him his armour and tried to put it on, but it simply wouldn't fit.

"It doesn't fit, Your Grace," Lancel whined.

Bobby B's eyes glowed red and he burned the shit with his heat vision.

Everyone in the throne room gasped and some women cried.

Seeing this, Bobby knew what to do. He stood. "BOW, YA SHITS" ordered the King.

The nameless masses knelt and the King teleported to Essos.

There were a million Dothrakhi riding toward him, savages, all of them.

"A DOTHRAKHI HORDE, ON AN OPEN FIELD!" whispered the ONE TRUE KING.

One of the savages rode toward him and attacked him with his curved blade. "HURRY UP BEFORE I PISS MESELF" the King said.

"Urakter au mau!" the savage screamed.

"DROGO?!" the King said, somehow understanding the savage, "WHAT A STUPID NAME!"

The savage tried to stab him, but the King pulled out his mighty war-hammer and attacked him. "YOUR MOTHER WAS A DUMB WHORE WITH A FAT ARSE" said the BOBBY B. And he struck the blade out of the savage's hands and caved his head in.

"GODS I WAS STRONG NOW!" cried the King.

The Dothrakhi pulled out their greatest weapon, a giant boar more than a hundred feet tall.

"WE'LL EAT WELL TONIGHT!" said the King.

Before the Boar charged him, the King stopped and pointed. "THE BOAR IS PREGNANT!" said the King. 

The Dothrakhi were then trampled by the emotional, pregnant boar.

A little Valyrian-looking bitch walked up to him and whined. "You killed my husband," she said.

"IF HE'D HAVE BEEN SMART HE WOULD HAVE STAYED IN THE BACK" the King said, and he teleported to Winterfell.

"You little bastard," Catelyn said as she threw things at Jon Snow, who had been brooding.

The King decked her and she fell to the ground like Frazier against Ali.

"Oh, Jon," Sansa cried, "Without my mother influencing me, I suddenly realized I love you."

So THE ONE TRUE KING cut off her dumb head and he and Jon Snow traveled beyond the Wall. There were one hundred thousand wight and the Night's King.

The dead-eyed creature removed his ice sword and the King roared a mighty roar. "HA! THERE'S ONLY ONE KING! YOU THINK IT'S THE WALL KEEPING YOU IN LINE. IT'S FEAR. FEAR AND BLOOD!" the King yelled. "BRING THE BREAST-PLATE STRETCHER. NOW!"

Lancel Lannister arrived, after inventing the world's first breast-plate stretcher. He put it on the King.

Jon Snow, Jorah Mormont, the Hound, Ser Arthur Dayne, Barristan the Bold, Jaime Lannister, Gendry Baratheon and Drogo all stood their ground with the King and absolutely wrecked the cunts. 

At the End of the Battle, the One True King's eyes glowed red and he burned the entire army to death.

When the great King arrived back in King's Landing he was welcomed by a thousand naked women who kissed and stroke every part of him he wanted. He grabbed a pretty blonde one with a fat arse and yelled triumphantly. 

"GODS BLESS BESSIE AND HER TITS" Bobby B said.

**Author's Note:**

> Story is orphaned now, have fun - Avery_Fontaine


End file.
